It's drawing near, your pal's big day, married bliss is on the horizon. Let's not get carried away though, first things first and priorities in order... you've got a stag do to attend!
Now you may or may not be the best man. If you are that's great and below you'll find pranks, games and ideas for fancy dress that will ensure the event is forever memorable.
Basically all the fun stuff that doesn't involve organising transport, sorting out accommodation and sending countless emails asking disorganised buddies for cash.
And if you're not best man? Well, you're going to have some splendid suggestions to bring to proceedings...
Stag Do Pranks
The stag is expecting trouble. He knows you're going to play tricks on him and basically have a laugh at his expense. It'd be rude to disappoint, right?
Prank #1 - You Didn't Get A Visa?!
Everyone needs to be in on this one, and you need to be on slightly obscure foreign soil for it to really work. In your group there is sure to be someone who has a grasp of Photoshop. Promise them a few drinks and have them knock up some official looking documents for everyone in the group except the stag. These will be your Visas.
At a suitable moment early in the trip ask if everyone sorted their Visas out. When everyone produces theirs and the stag doesn't, just tell him not to worry you're sure it'll be fine. For as long as possible keep the ruse up. Have the stag hide from any authority figures you see etc. If you only reveal it was a gag at the actual wedding you win!
Prank #2 - But Dude, That's A Man?!
Organise a stripper. It's a classic. Except, make it a bloke...
Prank #3 - What A Beautiful Beard, Is It Swedish?
Those weak of constitution turn away now. This has many forms, but the core of the Swedish Beard prank is always the same. Give your stag fancy dress that involves a very full and glorious false beard.
What he won't know is that you and your pals got together for a bit of man-scaping. That's basically a haircut for your love machine region. The surplus hair was then crafted lovingly with Blue Peter like skills into his fake facial crop. Yak!
Revealing that he has indeed been wearing his friends short and curlies on his chops for the last three hours can be done in plenty of ways. If you're an outgoing bunch a bit of skinny dipping or communal nudity of any sort is good as he realises everyone but him is remarkably well-kept in the man bush area. And he's wearing a particularly itchy beard... Oh god!
Prank #4 - You're Where?!
This works in many forms, but essentially you're going to convince the stag that he's in the wrong place and all his hombres are together in the right place.
The easiest way to do this is if you're going abroad. Ensure everyone is in on the joke and that the stag is arriving at the airport on his lonesome. Play on the stress of travel and simply call him asking where he is. When he says "Terminal 5", you say, "Err, Heathrow? Dude we're going from Gatwick!"
It's possible to do this with a night out in the UK too. Pick a vaguely similar sounding destination to the one you've arranged to meet in, leave the stag hanging for a bit and then phone him up, "Plymouth?! We're in Portsmouth you plonker!"
It can be taken further. Actually send your stag to a different destination from the rest of the party. He's in Bognor; you're all in Berlin... brilliant.
Prank #5 - We'll See You There...
This prank isn't so bad, you give the stag a choice after all. As you're about to head to a club jump the main man and strip him, before everyone else gets in cabs, offer him an option - shoes or pants? Once he's chosen give him either his sneaks or his boxers and head off with his clothes to la discothéque... he can have them back when he arrives with either sore feet and a modicum of dignity or well-heeled but in the buff.
Prank #6 - She Told Me It's Off?
This is brilliant. At the first available opportunity grab the stag's phone when he's not about and switch his fiancées number to that of someone on the stag do. From then on hilarity ensues as you send and receive all sorts of messages that he thinks are being exchanged with his bride-to-be.
Obviously you don't have to tell him the wedding's off... but, you could.
Prank #7 - Chains, Gaffer Tape And The Like
Obviously, we'd be doing you a disservice if we didn't suggest chaining, or indeed gaffer taping your stag to either a lamppost or city centre landmark. It's a cliché, but there's a reason for that...
Stag Do Games
Pranks aside you're going to need some way to communally bond with your fellow stag do attendees. Besides, everyone likes fun and games and there are only so many times you can embarrass the groom in waiting.
Game #1 - Shark Attack / Incoming! / Toy Soldiers / Dead Ants (Choose Your Variation)
Once again, variations abound. Essentially this is a group game where someone calls out a phrase and everyone has to act accordingly. He who is last to act must face a forfeit, as indeed must anyone who doesn't comply!
"Shark Attack!" - Get out of the water, quick! That means feet off the ground. A sure fire way to see you hurled from establishments as everyone leaps onto the nearest bit of furniture, like it was the last floating piece of the Titanic.
"Incoming!" - Military themed and fairly obvious in terms of what is necessary - upon hearing the call "Incoming!", everyone must scramble to a hiding spot.
"Toy Soldiers" - A slightly more involved military themed-game, in Toy Soldiers all participants are given one of those plastic green army men. On hearing the shout everyone must match the pose of their little marine. Genius.
"Dead Ants!" - This could easily be called something relevant to upturned turtles. On this shout everyone needs to hit the deck, lie on their back and wave their legs and arms like a scuppered ant!
It is an idea to have only one person in charge of shouting, otherwise overkill might be reached, but the joy of this game is to play it constantly and make the call in the most awkward of moments. Think ordering in a restaurant, while the best man is chatting up the barmaid or on a bus...
Game #2 - Get Discovered On The Streets Of...
It's everyone's duty to collaborate with any busker whenever one is earshot. What makes this funny and a worthwhile activity is actually trying to be good. It is collaboration and you don't want to frighten the poor fellow, just ask if he can indeed play Wind Of Change on the accordion and go for it!
Game #3 - Right Hand, Wrong Hand
There are numerous variations of this, but the two most common are these. When drinking (you are going to be drinking?) you must always hold your glass in your wrong hand. It is up to other members of the group to call out those who fail to abide by the rule. If the call is correct the forfeit falls to the guy who was holding his drink in the wrong hand. If the call is incorrect the person making the call does the forfeit. Easy. As for forfeits... whatever you like, finishing the drink in one is the usual way to go.
Another variation of this is to have to swap drinking hands depending on which side of the clock the minute hand is on. Amusing when played for an entire weekend and everyone silently switches drinking hands on the hour and half hour in unison.
Game #4 - Oh No, You're Going to Have To 'Tell 'Em'
Only for the brave, but if you can get people to commit it's carnage of the never ever forget variety. It works like this. If someone says something about someone, i.e. fellow stag do attendee, taxi driver, waitress, policeman, girl in a club etc. anyone in earshot can say "Tell 'Em." The person who spoke the words then has to go and say them to the person they were said about...
As you can imagine this has the potential to be fairly hectic, but also very, very funny. And it's not like you have to say "Tell 'Em" when you're pal remarks on the 'assets' of a lovely lass and her boyfriend's resemblance to Jimmy Krankie...
Stag Do Fancy Dress
Fancy dress is almost a given. When it comes to humiliating the stag there are more options than can be listed here. So, in a slightly opposing attitude to stag dos in general we're taking the "we're in this together" route. Here are some quality group ideas that'll still ensure the stag stands out.
Elvis! Everyone loves dressing as The King, so that's what you do... except for the stag who gets to be the thing Elvis loved most, a burger!
Pirates! Same as above. Dressing as a pirate is fun! The stag in this scenario has a view options. We love the idea of him either being a parrot or your ship!
Bonds...James Bonds! This is great for group as you all done tuxedos and stash water pistols. As for the stag, he's the Bond girl, cocktail dress and high heels.
Sheep! Easy and really does take the stress out of choosing an outfit, except for the stag who is going to have to Bo Peep himself to the nines.
Vets! Most people will think you're all dressed as doctors. At this moment point to patient, the stag dressed as a dog with one of those anti-stitch chewing cones around his head. Don't let him take it off, ever.
Skittles! You and your pals are the pins, the stag is the ball. Easy.
If you're planning a stag do or just attending one, hopefully we've given you plenty of ideas to keep things interesting at the very least. Enjoy!