Rude & Naughty Christmas Gifts

Know your audience, then aim lower

A rude gift lives or dies on who opens it. Get it right and you're the hero of the afternoon. Get it wrong and you're the reason an aunt leaves before the pudding, so pick your target before you pick the present.

If you want to start gently, the Lord Twat Victoriana mug looks perfectly respectable on a shelf until somebody reads it properly. It is the sort of gift that gets left on a desk for years, quietly doing its work on visitors.

Gifts that will not be opened in front of Granny

Timing is everything with a rude gift. Hand it over after the Christmas dinner, not before. The Sweary Fairy stress reliever says what everyone is thinking by the third round of charades, and Mr Angry's swearing punch ball is cheaper than therapy and louder.

For the friend whose plant pots need livening up, the naughty gnomes plant markers and the self-watering peeing planter gnome are exactly as classy as the names suggest.

Games for when the family have gone home

Once the children are in bed, the tone can drop considerably. The Would You Rather card game gets the arguments going, and the Rude Limericks Book is for the uncle who fancies himself a poet.

Smiles guaranteed, or your money back

Rude gifts are a judgement call, and not every audience is the right one. Our Smile Guarantee covers you: if it doesn't raise a smile, you can return it and get your money back.