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Offensive Pen Set

Only £6.99
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Every office has one or two, most classrooms contain quite a few, and pretty much every family home is full of them, the elusive “Pennus Banditos”, also known as Pen Thieves!

At first glace this might just look like a generic, standard set of ball point pens, but really, they’re much, much more. They have a special power to those who dare possess them… shock, humour, offend anyone and everyone and make a clear and definitive statement - without having to utter a single word!

Whether you want to warn off annoyances and thieves, or let your friend or PENemy know exactly how much you like them, each set contains one of five beautifully-phrased messages, embossed and placed on the shaft of the pen – one for each week day:

  • Actually, just f**k off
  • Hands off my pen, pr*ck
  • I wish I could f***ing spell
  • Property of C***y McF***face
  • These dull f***ers think I'm working

Send a clear-cut message that you’ve had enough with a delightfully profanity-laden assortment of slick black-cased, reliable ballpoint writing pens. Each pen is a perfect tool, accessory and weapon for the professional, serious, playful and not-so-sensitive scribe - after all, the pen is mightier than the sword.


About this product

  • Inject some fun and humour into the office, workplace, class, or home
  • Add some individual style to your stationary
  • Yellow text lettering, even the most prolific thieves can’t miss!
  • Safe for work – censored profanity
  • High quality aesthetic for the most “professional” impression
  • Ball-point functionality
  • Click-action activation and retraction
  • Handy clip tops for placing on books, papers, dividers and pockets
  • A choice of five embossed sentiments to choose from

Product code: fun371

What do you get

  • 1 x Set of Offensive Ball Point Pens.

Reasons to buy

  • 28 day money back guarantee
  • Low - price guarantee
  • Loyalty points discount off future orders
  • Huge range of unique gifts
  • Excellent customer service
  • Next day delivery available


  • UK Standard (2-5 working days) is available for this item
  • UK Next Working Day (Order before 6:30pm Mon - Fri) is available for this item
  • Europe and Worldwide delivery is not available for this product.

Product reviews

19 5 Star Reviews
1 4 Star Reviews
0 3 Star Reviews
1 2 Star Reviews
0 1 Star Reviews
21 All Reviews

Recipient absolutely loved this gift. It was a Father's Day Pressie from Archie the Parrot (who we hope won't be using any of the words on the pens) ??

TraeZ | 15/07/21 | Collected by Trustpilot

Bought as a gift. Recipient was more than happy

Evey Moffat | 18/04/21 | Collected by Trustpilot

Only time will tell if pens last, hence only 4 stars. Bought as a gift for my boss, but realised that one of the pens would be too offensive for her - I will give them to another friend for their Birthday later in the year, so not a wasted purchase and still fun.

Julian East | 08/02/21 | Collected by Trustpilot

Great product bought for my son at university very well received

Sarah | 25/01/21 | Collected by Trustpilot

Made me actually laugh out loud. Fast delivery and great service

Mrs Patricia Johnson | 03/01/21 | Collected by Trustpilot

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