If you're looking for Christmas gifts for people who hate Christmas (but love laughs), congratulations. You've found your tribe. These are the people who flinch at tinsel, mutter dark things about Mariah Carey in supermarkets, and consider the office Secret Santa a form of social torture. And yet - hand them the right gift, preferably one that causes actual wheezing laughter - and they might just forgive you for the festive cheer.

 

Not a Fan of Festive Cheer? Perfect. Neither Are We.

The truth is, not everyone dreams of chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Some of us dream of silence, wine, and a gift that doesn't come wrapped in emotional blackmail. That's where our funny gifts come in. Less “Ho Ho Ho,” more “Ha bloody Ha.” From gloriously inappropriate desk toys to sweary gadgets that would make Santa retire early, this is the Christmas they didn't see coming - but will never forget.

  • Funny Gifts for Her: For women who don't believe in festive miracles - but do believe in sarcasm and perfectly timed passive aggression.
  • Rude & Naughty Gifts: Cheeky, inappropriate, and just wrong enough to make Aunt Beryl drop her sherry in shock.
  • Pens with Attitude: Perfect for the colleague who needs stationery that speaks on their behalf - preferably while hungover.

 

'Tis the Season to Be Silly (Not Sincere)

Some people write heartfelt gift messages. Others give you a personalised spoof heritage plaque declaring that your best mate once lived here, talked nonsense, and survived six roast dinners in a row. One is sentimental. The other is unforgettable.

 

Technology with Attitude: Gifts That Answer Back

For the tech lover with a dark sense of humour, the Bad Alexus Offensive Speaker is your go-to. She's got Bluetooth. She's got sass. And she's got a filthy mouth that would make your nan faint into her custard. It's what Alexa would be like if she grew up in Croydon and didn't care about your feelings.

 

Botanical Joy, Now With Extra Innuendo

There's only one way to say this: some gifts grow on you. Literally. Like the Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver - a novelty plant project for the deeply unserious gardener. Think chia pet meets 1970s smut. Perfect for plant lovers, pun addicts, and anyone who appreciates inappropriate foliage.

 

Cleaning, But Make It Fashion

We all have a friend who secretly likes vacuuming but wants to be dramatic about it. Give them the Pink & Pearly Washing Up Gloves - because nothing says domestic goddess like latex gloves adorned with pearls. A kitchen meltdown never looked so fabulous.

 

Bumholes, Sumo Squats, and Table Tennis at 3am

Nothing tests a friendship like playing the Name That Bumhole Game - an anatomical guessing game that's as enlightening as it is disturbing. Pair it with a round of Sumo Squats for glute-clenching humiliation, or the World's Smallest Table Tennis for those with competitive spirit and tragically large hands.

 

Gifts That Plant Themselves (In the Dirt, Not Your Heart)

Know someone who finds plant care cathartic - but also weirdly hilarious? Mini Plant Pot Naked Ramblers are here to patrol their begonias in the buff. These tiny naturists are the silent heroes of houseplants - quirky, proud, and anatomically dubious.

 

Joy Is Optional. Laughter Is Not.

So no, they don't want a traditional Christmas. They don't want eggnog. They don't want matching pyjamas or a deeply practical gift set. What they want - whether they admit it or not - is to laugh. At Find Me a Gift, we specialise in the brilliantly bizarre, the cheekily offensive, and the gifts that spark conversation - and occasionally minor complaints. Buy them joy. Or failing that, give them something utterly unhinged. Both work.