By: Faye Smith

Ever roll your eyes at your old man when he rolls out his collection of dad jokes? You know what’s coming and still, he expects you to have a right old laugh. Provide him with a collection of new material for the next year that will keep his mates and family giggling – whether it is at him or with him will depend entirely on the dad jokes which come out of his mouth. We’ve scoured the internet with our favourite dad jokes (which actually made us snort) and put them in one handy post.

Dad Jokes – 32 Funny Jokes Which Might Get a Giggle Click To Tweet

One Liners

  1. Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
  2. My colleagues at work have given me the name “Mr Compromise”. It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.
  3. Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?” and I burst into tears. 10 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Paul.
  4. My wife is really mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up and right.
  5. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
  6. My daughter screeched, “Daaaaaaad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you?!” What a strange way to start a conversation with me…
  7. Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
  8. Do you wanna box for your leftovers? No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
  9. A cheeseburger walks into the bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
  10. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.
  11. I thought out of all these puns at least one in 10 would make me laugh… But no pun in 10 did.
  12. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that seafood. Now I feel a little… Eel.

Punchline Jokes

  1. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
  2. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
  3. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY.
  4. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
  5. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
  6. Why was six sad? Because seven eight nine.
  7. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
  8. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  9. What’s the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.
  10. What do you call a man who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad? A faux pa!
  11. Want to hear a long joke? Joooooooooooooke.
  12. What kind of drink is bittersweet? Reali-tea.
  13. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.

Knock Knock Dad Jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Adore Adore who? Adore is between us, open up!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lego Lego who? Lego of me and I’ll tell you!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Nunya Nunya who? Nunya business.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Aww, don’t cry it’s just a knock knock joke!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Annie Annie who? Annie body home?

Knock knock! Who’s there? Mikey Mikey who? Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Says Says who? Says me that’s who!

If your dad sees himself as a funny man (clearly, otherwise you wouldn’t be exploring dad jokes), explore our range of funny gifts for dad too. There’s probably a host of joke presents he can turn into a punchline for Father’s Day, birthday or any occasion of his choosing!