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If you don't know why it is absolutely vital for you to have a man flu survival kit then please read the info below. It could save a life - or at least your marriage.
What is man flu? Man flu is a completely debilitating illness, and possibly one of the biggest dangers facing modern man. Unlike cave man, modern man does not have the inbuilt primal defences to fight against such a deadly attack and the entire ongoing future of the human species will depend upon the swift and appropriate administration of the contents of a man flu survival kit.
Symptoms: Man flu symptoms include slightly forced coughing, sniffles, excessive nose blowing, weak moaning noises, sad puppy eyes and inability to perform simple tasks (even if otherwise appearing well). For further information, please consult the included Man Flu Fact Sheet.
Treatment: After placing the included Quarantine Sign prominently in your home, administer one man flu survival kit as needed. Must be given with sympathy. Do not take on an empty stomach (included soup works well in conjunction with a sandwich and a cup of tea). For maximum effect ensure that the patient stays in a reclined position whilst utilising the tissues for the duration of the treatment (screen-based entertainment is to be encouraged). Refrain from all nagging, scoffing, laughing, eye rolling and muttering as such actions may prolong or even worsen the severity of the symptoms. Ensure that all visiting men wear included face mask and use the hand sanitiser. Women are immune to this disease so will be fine.
Prognosis: Consult your 'snot-swatch' chart carefully but with time, patience and round-the-clock attention, you can expect your man-flu patient to make a full recovery within 3 - 4 weeks. This is then the correct time to administer the 'Badge of Honour' from the kit (and to hastily buy another in preparation for the next bout).
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